The premise of this article is fascinating. The author freely admits he spent most of his life thinking that the way to deal with harsh criticism was to work with the person delivering it on the delivery. This takes the view that because the feedback may be delivered badly, it’s somehow not valid.
I’ve long recognized that there is almost always something in any form of criticism for me to learn from. Sure, it’s harder to sort through a tough delivery, especially if there is some sort of perceived threat in the delivery message. It takes a certain amount of self-awareness to allow me (or you) to turn that other cheek, and that’s what this author is suggesting. Gather yourself, consider the message, not the method, to see what you can take away from the experience. It may be tough, but you’ll often be better for it.
I’ve spent much of my life believing that the best way to help people receive and act on negative feedback is to help those who are delivering it to improve their message. But I’m now convinced I was wrong. Rather than focusing on saying things the “right” way, we need to all get better a finding truth in negative feedback, no matter how it’s delivered.